The weather today is a killer- like yesterdays. Basically, I am fucking melting in this heat - maybe even literally judging by the wet remnants of this seat. Okay too much info, oui?

Everyone around me is annoying and today, I’m pretty much upset (from something I don’t even want to specify). I am trying my best to control myself from vomiting a sea of profanities of which I am so tempted to because I am irritated, frustrated and on top of all tired. I’m so tired of routines. Tired of decision making. Tired of people. Times like this, I wish I was a kid again. Everything would be so much more bearable.

But how nice, I’ve got one friend who understands me. Let’s hope for a friendlier society.

It is just one of those days where I feel so ugly I want to hide myself from the world. Then again, I am but a youth so I guess these instances are a given.

I don’t like openly saying “Oh God I’m so ugly / Yucks I hate myself” (just saying, not that I actually despise myself) because it degrades me even more - nothing is worst than self-demolishing. Furhtermore, people might just label me as those attention-seeking teens who want compliments in return; retarded at it’s best.

So this is one thing I actually like about myself: being lazy. As endearing to the sceptics as it may sound, yes I am saying this with a straight face. Yes, I am very much lazy by nature but it’s this lack of interest that has actually shaped me into a somewhat strong person that I am today. I won’t crumble due to venomous words or malicious people mainly because it’s too exhausting to even dwell on it, cry about it or even try to overcome it. I just forget it, let it be a passing comment, because I am that lazy.

Comical right? Comical and absurd but I’d know myself well enough to assert that this is anything but fiction.

I may not be as smart or maybe as good as how you want or expect me to be, well too bad, I don’t feel a weeny bit sorry. Call me an itch. I can’t do no shit to make things better. So deal with it.